Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of and manage our own emotions and recognize others’ moods. We all have varying degrees of emotional intelligence. Some people are naturally more skilled at reading others or handling their own emotions than others.
However, even those fortunate enough to be born with a high degree of emotional intelligence can improve it by learning specific skills and practicing them over time.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions and handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. People with high emotional intelligence are good at recognizing their feelings and those of others. They have a heightened awareness of people’s thoughts and emotions and how their actions affect those people. They can use this information to guide their interactions with other people toward productive outcomes.
The concept was popularized in 1995 by Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence,” which sold more than five million copies and is available in a hundred languages. When you develop emotional intelligence, you increase your capacity to deal with the everyday challenges of life and work: holding conversations, motivating yourself and others, making good decisions, delivering results under pressure. You also have more tools to handle challenging relationships at home or work without creating tension or damaging self-esteem.
5 Key Emotional Intelligence Skills
Emotional intelligence is so important to leadership because it’s the foundation of critical competencies like self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication. When you’re in touch with your own emotions, you can better understand other people’s feelings, building rapport and making you more persuasive.
When you empathize with people, they will respond well to you because they know that their ideas matter to you. You become a better team player, more likely to build alliances than alienate others through misplaced comments or acts. Here are five essential skills necessary for effective leadership and improving your emotional intelligence.
- Social Skills
- Conflict Management
Emotional Intelligence Skill #1: Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand how others feel, which makes it possible for you to respond effectively. It’s not just about feeling sorry for someone or being able to handle their pain but instead having an understanding of where they’re coming from without making value judgments.
People with empathy have an advantage over those who only think about themselves because they’re also considering other people’s needs, making them more effective at work, especially when their job involves coordinating projects involving multiple stakeholders. In addition, people tend to be more satisfied with their relationships at work if their team members practice empathy toward them because it shows respect for others’ feelings and perspectives.
Here are some signs that you’re demonstrating empathy: You can pick up on cues during conversations — body language, tone of voice — that signal that the other person is upset or frustrated. You can sense when someone isn’t interested in talking, and you don’t try to push them to open up. Finally, you make a point of learning something new about your colleagues from time to time.
Empathy requires a high degree of emotional intelligence, but it also means taking a genuine interest in people’s lives. This makes empathy an effective leadership tool because employees will feel valued by their managers if they know their needs and have been consulted on important decisions.
Emotional Intelligence Skill #2: Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is about knowing who you are and how other people perceive you. People with a high degree of self-awareness tend to be confident but not arrogant and open to learning from their mistakes. They’re aware of what they stand for and the impact their behavior has on other people.
In today’s fast-changing work environment, where almost everyone deals with multiple audiences that demand different things, it is more important than ever to have a firm understanding of yourself and your own needs.
In addition, it helps you manage your time better because you know which projects excite you and which tasks drain your energy. So you can focus on doing what matters most to you while avoiding going through the motions on activities that don’t move you forward in some way.
One exercise that can help build self-awareness is keeping an “emotional inventory” of yourself. At the beginning and end of each day, write down three things that made you happy and three things that put you in a bad mood. This will help you uncover patterns or behaviors that affect your outlook on life.
Emotional Intelligence Skill #3: Social Skills
Social skills are essential for being able to connect with people on a deep level. These skills include being able to express ourselves freely, listening without judgment, and handling rejection gracefully.
Social skills are the foundation of successful relationships at home and work. If you have strong social skills, it means you can adapt your behavior to different people or situations without feeling awkward or reading too much into what someone else says or does. You’re likely to be confident but not arrogant if you know that empathy is more important than being right all the time.
People with high emotional intelligence are good at assessing how they come across to other people. They realize that the same action can mean something very different depending on each person’s perception of events, so they say sorry when they need to and make adjustments accordingly.
In today’s workplace, where many people have been laid off due to cost-cutting measures, those who have strong interpersonal skills tend to be the most sought after as managers because they’re able to build rapport quickly with their teams. In addition, if your team members know how much you care about them and what makes them unique as individuals, it will motivate them to work harder and more effectively toward shared goals.
Emotional Intelligence Skill #4: Conflict Management
Conflict is inevitable in interpersonal interactions – especially at work where competition for scarce resources is a reality! While conflict should be avoided whenever possible through negotiation or mediation, it’s essential to manage when it can’t.
Learning how to manage conflict effectively is a valuable life skill because it makes it easier for people to get along and work together productively.
Conflict management is essential because it helps you find fair solutions for everyone involved. When you’re in a position of authority, this means keeping your team members engaged and motivated to work toward shared goals rather than letting them become disengaged or distracted by unproductive disputes.
Here are some key signs that you manage conflict well: You let the other person talk without continually interrupting, then summarize their opinions before responding to each point. You can see where both parties are coming from and look for areas where they agree.
It’s easy to get defensive when someone criticizes you, but if you keep calm while they air their grievances, it shows them that you care about what they think and want to resolve the situation rather than ignoring it.
If you manage conflict effectively, team members are more satisfied because they don’t have to worry about resolving their grievances themselves. They also know that their manager will stand by them when there’s a conflict with someone else at work.
Emotional Intelligence Skill #5: Decision-Making
Decision-making is a vital part of leadership. Effective leaders often make significant decisions that help improve productivity, morale, and profitability within their respective organizations.
If you don’t have strong decision-making skills, you find it challenging to make good choices about essential life issues. For example, if you can’t decide whether or not to file for bankruptcy, ask for advice from someone who has “been there before” with their financial problems.
Strong decision-makers are decisive because they can sort through different viewpoints and consider the pros and cons of each side before making their choice. They weigh up options logically rather than acting impulsively based on feelings alone.
If you’re a decisive decision-maker, you know how to respond to different situations and feel confident that your choices are the best ones. You also learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them.
Good managers need to make decisions quickly because they can’t keep their team members waiting around for hours on end when there’s work to be completed. They take responsibility for their actions and make changes whenever necessary so everyone benefits.
Emotional intelligence is one of the most vital skills necessary for effective leadership. The ability to effectively manage our own emotions and those of others are essential in our personal lives and at work and school.
All the skills mentioned above are vital because they allow us to have meaningful connections with others, create relationships that help aid in communication and problem-solving, and improve our decision-making abilities.
The more you practice emotional intelligence skills consistently, the better positioned you’ll be for leadership success! Everyone should possess these emotional intelligence skills since they’re beneficial both personally and professionally, whether you’re just starting or are an experienced leader.
While this list only scratches the surface, there are many other crucial emotional intelligence skills, such as creativity, self-motivation, adaptability, etc., that are also necessary for anyone who wishes to be successful both personally and professionally.